engaged.

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”

Louis de Bernieres

A rock is never just a rock.

“Rocks are records of events that took place at the time they formed. They are books. They have a different vocabulary, a different alphabet, but you learn how to read them.”
-John McPhee

I love rocks. As a kid, used to bring pockets full of rocks home to my mom. Studied rocks in college. Made jewelry with pretty rocks. Now I am back to hunting them and collecting them and attending the Rock & Gem show in Quartzsite, AZ. Justin and I road tripped to Quartzsite last year and I LOVED it! Justin wasn’t too thrilled about wandering aimlessly for hours staring at and feeling rocks. But he was starting to feel sick at the time. 😦 I can’t wait to go this year and hope some of my girl friends might join me.

“I don’t think the land needs me at all, but I do need it.”

Andy Goldsworthy

I love you a little more today than yesterday.

El Alfarero- Pablo Neruda

Todo tu cuerpo tiene
copa o dulzura destinada a mí.

Cuando subo la mano
encuentro en cada sitio una paloma
que me buscaba, como
si te hubieran, amor, hecho de arcilla
para mis propias manos de alfarero.

Tus rodillas, tus senos
tu cintura
faltan en mí como en el hueco
de una tierra sedienta
de la que desprendieron
una forma,
y juntos
somos completos como un solo río,
como una sola arena.

The Potter – translated

Your whole body holds
a goblet or gentle sweetness destined for
me.

When I let my hand climb,
in each place I find a dove
that was looking for me, as if
my love, they had made you out of clay
for my very own potter’s hands.

Your knees, your breasts,
your waist
are missing in me, like in the hollow
of a thirsting earth
where they relinquished
a form,
and together
we are complete like one single river,
like one single grain of sand.

—Translated and © Mark Eisner 2004, from City Lights’ The Essential Neruda

photo source unknown


Dear Lover: My Delight and Thy Delight

My delight and thy delight
Walking, like two angels white,

In the gardens of the night:

My desire and thy desire
Twining to a tongue of fire,
Leaping live, and laughing higher:

Thro’ the everlasting strife
In the mystery of life.

Love, from whom the world begun,
Hath the secret of the sun.

Love can tell, and love alone,
Whence the million stars were strewn,
Why each atom knows its own,
How, in spite of woe and death,
Gay is life, and sweet is breath:

This he taught us, this we knew,
Happy in his science true,
Hand in hand as we stood
‘Neath the shadows of the wood,
Heart to heart as we lay
In the dawning of the day.

Robert Bridges

Dreaming

Irwin and Owls

Irwin is a penguin I met in a dream last week. In my dream, this penguin named Irwin jumps into my arms whenever I call his name. He’s black of course, but with  white “brushstroke” spots. The main part of my dream was this bird and the calming effect it had on me in the dream. I woke up wanting a pet penguin. So weird.

I have never been big on penguins. They’re cute and cool to watch but they’ve never been anywhere near the top of the list of my favorite animals. I also usually shy away from penguin printed merchandise around the holiday season. Too corny.

Since the dream I have become aware of their presence in my surroundings or in just a fleeting thought. A couple of days ago I came across a penguin cake and penguin decorated cupcakes at Wholefoods. I had to get a cupcake for lunch.

The reason this penguin presence is significant to me is because of my unusual connection with owls in the last 2 years. I saw them EVERYWHERE. And I’m not just talking about the ones you see at Forever 21 on jewelry and clothes. I’m talking about close encounters with them. Having them fly over my car. Stumbling across a burrowing owl den in the sand dunes of Monterey. Seeing them on sitting on lamp posts at night. And the craziest one was when the loud screeching of a hawk had me ducking down and looking up into the Coast Live Oak tree above me to see both a hawk and an owl sitting on the closest branches to me and my girlfriend Lindsey. They were sitting within arms reach of each other! Amazing! Two birds of prey sitting side by side in a tree during the day talking to each other and watching us!

So of course I had to research the meaning behind these owl encounters. I drew my power totem cards and the first card I drew (to the east) was the owl! The animal in the east guides me to my greatest spiritual challenges and guards me while on the path of illumination. The owl has the power of illumination and has these characteristics:

  • The owl as power animal perceives truths that are veiled to many, thanks to its silent flight at night.
  • An owl spirit guide is skilled in detecting untruths, thanks to its acute hearing which detects what others do not.
  • The legendary intelligence of the owl is indeed a characteristic of the totem owl. A shaman with an owl spirit guide is an old soul with much wisdom thanks to this maturity.
  • Thanks to its silent flight the owl power animal knows when to speak and when to keep its peace.
  • The owl is a skilled hunter thanks to its great local knowledge. On a shamanic journey the owl spirit guide serves the Shaman with its detailed knowledge of the spiritual realms.

Those of you who were there to witness my struggles and uncertainties of my future and my relationship at the time can understand why the owl would be attracted to me. And it actually helped! When I was unsure of what my next step would be the owl would come to mind and remind me to “read between the lines” or try to see the bigger picture. The lesson has stuck with me since and I try to pass it on to those closest to me.

There are 9 cards in total you draw. I don’t know the rest of them by heart.

An owl friend at Devil's Punchbowl in Pearblossom, CA

A New Tradition. Chanukah with the Kammans

My friends and I celebrating Chanukah in 2008.

I look foward to the celebration this year just days away! I love you all so much! Thank you for being such wonderful and encouraging friends. My life wouldn’t be the same without you guys. ❤

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Chanukah 09 was a blast!

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